My Masturbation History 2

I have always been a very sexual person. As a little girl, about 5 or 6 years old, I would imagine what sex was like and I fantasized about having it myself. In kindergarden a girl in my class showed me her *cupcake* in class and that was the first time I felt turned on by a girl. On a scale where heterosexual was 1, bisexual was 5, and homosexual was 10, I would be a 4. I’m sure it sounds strange but I believe that when it comes to sexuality, not everyone fits entirely in one of the three labels and I’m one of those people.

I was 12, and during the summer I would stay up until 6 or 7 in the morning watching music videos on MTV and VH1 and I discovered this channel that showed very sexual videos. I was so aroused but I had no idea how to satisfy those sensations.  The commercials in between the videos consisted mostly of girls gone wild advertisements which excited me even more.  My dad worked from home and had an office in the house so one night I built up the courage to go to his office computer and check out the girls gone wild website.  The girl in the video I was watching had her panties on but had her hands in them rubbing something (it was her clitoris but I had no idea what is was at the time) in a circle. I tried it right then and there watching her and it was incredible, but I did not orgasm until I tried a new technique.

I snuck downstairs a few more times before I saw a girl playing with a vibrator for the first time.  Being the age that I was I couldn’t get my hands on one but I knew instantly what the next best thing was, a Gillette vibrating razor.  I bought it like 2 days later.  As soon as I was in bed that night I took off the blade cartridge and turned it on.  The part where the blades were supposed to go was flat so I pressed it against various points on my cupcake until I discovered that the left side of my clitoris was the best spot.  I felt a sensation I had never known as soon as I put it there and pressed harder, harder, and harder until I had my first orgasm.  After it subsided I was very confused as to what it was but I knew that I wanted that feeling forever.

Later in the year I got a phone that had internet and you can bet I took full advantage of it.  Pretty much everyday after school I would look at porn on my phone and masturbate. I could not get enough.  I was only able to look at porn on the computer in my dad’s office whenever I didn’t have school because my dad would typically stay in there late at night working.

Soon after, I discovered that my cable provider Comcast showed adult programs late at night  and once I got the 4 digit parental control code from my dad I would spend every weekend night watching those or watching porn on the computer.

Since then I have done a lot of research on sex, the way my body works relating to sex, and the different ways to masturbate which ultimately led me to clitical.com and the porn websites I visit at least 2 times a week.  I have tried so many different techniques from just rubbing my fingers against my clit, to multiple vibrating gadgets, the shower head, etc.  My choices of techniques are somewhat limited because I am still a virgin at the age of 19 but I’m completely okay with that.  I have learned to satisfy myself and be comfortable with my body through masturbation so I can honestly say that masturbating has had a very positive influence on my life and not just in the sex category.

I have never told anyone that I masturbate, watch porn, or am attracted to women yet and in a way it’s kind of fun, like I have a dirty little secret. Anyway, I just want women to know that sex is not always a bad thing, and the safest way to have sex is with yourself 🙂