Tutorial: Body Language

body languageWritten By: Jenne

It would be more than possible to write an entire web site devoted to the art of reading others body language, but here I’ll just scratch at the surface and try to bring out the most important things, as these are what you really need to understand when it comes to flirting.

Have you ever simply sat in a bar and watched couples together? Or watched others flirt? If you have then the chances are even though you may not know it you already have a good understanding of the differences between positive and negative body language.

When it comes to body language there are basically two types of gestures: open and closed. Learning how to read which type of gesture you are receiving from someone you are flirting with or interested in getting to know better is the first step to flirting success. At this point though it is worth stating this is only an indicator and many things can affect body language. If I’m having a really bad day I may give off negative, closed gestures but at the same time still be attracted to you.

Open Gestures.
So lets take a look at open gestures first. Open gestures are those that communicate to another person that you are interested in what they have to say or in them per say.

1) Butterflies in My Stomach: Once you’ve made eye contact with someone watch how they react after they look away. If he/she plays with their hair, adjusts an item of jewelry or simply fiddles with their hands then it’s a pretty good sign that they are attracted to you.

2) Open palms: Many people will expose their wrists or palms to someone they are really interested in.

3)On Target: How someone places their shoulders in relation to you is a good indication of whether they are interested or not. If the person has their upper body pointing towards you this again is often a sure sign they are interested in you.

4) The Forward Lean: This is one of the most obvious body language signals to read. If someone is pointing their shoulders towards you, while at the same time leaning forward, they are yours for the taking -))

5)The Legs Have It: If either the persons feet or legs are widened the chances are they are showing you they are comfortable talking to you as well as their surrounding.

6) Eye To Eye: If someone is interested you will often find that their pupils will get bigger or dilate, and by the same token will get smaller is they are not. Bear in mind though surroundings can have an effect on this. For example if you’re outside on a sunny day, someone’s pupils may look small whether they are attracted to you or not and visa versa.

7) Smile You’re on Candid Camera: If someone smiles at you when you make contact it’s generally a sure sign of interested but you knew that already right?

8) It’s Funny You Should Say That: If someone laughs at just about everything you say, then it’s probably not because you tell great jokes, more likely they are saying I like being with you. You make me feel good and there’s nothing funny about that -))

9) Touchy Feelly: Touching someone when talking to them is often a sure sign of interest.

10) Hair Do: Many women will flip their hair and then glance away as a sign that they are attracted to someone. It’s a way of attracting attention and attention is what flirting is all about.

11) Look at me: Often people will make eye contact and hold it for longer than normal when they are interested in someone. This can actually be uncomfortable to be the recipient of and if it happens to you remember to smile back.

Closed Gestures
Now Let’s take a look at the closed gestures people often give when they have little or no interest in someone:

1) Crossed Arms: This is a sure sign that someone is either nervous, agitated, uncomfortable or simply doesn’t like you.

2) Crossed Legs: Like crossed arms this is another obvious sign of disinterest. Often though you may find the person is simply nervous and leg crossing is a way of conveying that. If someone’s legs and arms are crossed then forget it, you have more chance of going to the moon. One the other hand crossed legs that are pointing towards you can be a nervous gesture.

3) Leaning Back: Another closed gesture that is probably the most obvious sign that someone simply isn’t interested.

Improving Your Chances Of Success: By becoming a student of body language it’s much easier to work out who might be interested in you and who probably isn’t. Next time you’re out and about take a good look at the people around you. Watch the way people react to one another, not only is this an interesting exercise and something I do quite often it will help you learn the nuance’s of body language which will help improve your own chances of success or failure.

The Games People Play: If you’re still skeptical about body language and the role it can play in the dating game try the game of copycat and you’ll see that it really does work.

Make eye contact with someone and smile, then glance at your watch, while counting to three, then look back at that certain someone. If they too are looking at their watch then you are certainly in with a chance -)) By looking at your watch, you have sparked their curiosity and they will likely be wondering what you are waiting for, and with no other source to gather information from, they will look at their own watch to try to at least determine the time of your expected event.

So now you have the basics go out there and work on your body language skills and have some fun!

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