Ok this is really embarrassing but I thought if anyone would understand it’d be this site. I think I’m a lesbian. I’ve never been able to be with a woman and I’ve never told anyone how I feel. The only person who knew was my old roommate because she walked in on me masturbating to a picture of a girl in Cosmo. I was completely mortified and it was the most embarrassing day in my life. She just stared at me with this look of like shock and disgust and I tried to stop masturbating but I couldn’t cuz I was too close and so I just ended up trying to say I’m sorry while trying to cover myself up while still frantically masturbating. She just walked out and left the apt and I started crying. I just remember feeling so humiliated and pathetic after I came, sitting there alone with my pants soaked.
I didn’t touch myself for months after that until I couldn’t take it anymore and was online and saw this video of this gorgeous girl stripping and I tried so hard not to touch myself but it hurt so badly and I got so wet, I stuck my hand in my pants and exploded. I can’t tell u the release I felt. It felt like I had wet my pants but I just couldn’t stop after that.
I’m so desperate and frustrated, I masturbate to women all the time. I can’t stop. I don’t know what else to do. I’m so scared to tell anyone how I feel and I get so nervous around pretty girls. I like stutter and shake and I usually have to excuse myself. So the other day I got a coupon in the mail for 40% off a massage and so I went and the girl giving the massage was beautiful, she had long brown hair and gorgeous breasts and the minute I saw her I felt myself becoming aroused.
Then for the massage I had to take off everything but my underwear and I kept my arms folded over my chest as long as I could so she wouldn’t see how hard my nipples were. So then she leaned over me and I looked down her shirt and started fantasizing about her. I became extremely wet and kept my legs together so she couldn’t see and then she started massaging my legs, and then my thighs and she told me to relax and separated my legs a little and I could feel my face turn bright red because I could feel that the insides of my thighs were wet and I knew I had soaked through. She was very professional and just kept doing the massage on my lower thighs and just watching her breasts bounce as she did it, I couldn’t take it anymore, my vagina was aching so badly I could feel it throbbing and I could feel my clit pressed up against my panties it was so erect.
I just started crying so hard. and she said it was ok, a lot of people cried during massages because of the release of the muscle tension and I just kept crying, and, this is so embarrassing, but I started begging her to touch me but she didnt know what I was saying and so she was like, what, where? I just started crying harder cuz I never told anyone how I feel and I just started begging her desperately that I needed to be touched by a woman so badly and I was shaking on the table I was so aroused and nervous.
Then she kind of pulled away a little and I just couldn’t take it anymore and I just remember saying, please please please, and then I started rubbing in between my legs right in front of her and she just looked at me like disgusted and I asked her in between sobbing and moaning to leave because I couldn’t believe what I was doing and I didn’t want her to see me orgasm and I couldn’t stop and she just said I couldn’t do that here and I tried to say I couldn’t stop and then I just came everywhere, it soaked through my panties and all over the massage table and she just stood there in shock and saw me come.
I was making the weirdest faces I was trying so hard to control it but it just like took me over and I moaned and squirted and after I was just laying there and I kept crying and I didn’t know what to do and so she said please get dressed and walked out. I can’t tell u how embarrassed I am about all of this, I need someone to understand. I hate being like this and feeling this way, I feel like if i don’t get to be with a woman soon I’m going to go crazy. It’s getting in the way of everyday life for me now. I’m so desperate. I don’t know what else to do, touching myself is the only way to get any kind of release.
Hey, I’m not sure if I can be of much help, but I am a lesbian (in college) and if you’d like to talk, I’m told I’m good at listening and will attempt at giving advice if requested. Just message me, ok?
You poor dear!
First of all, sweetie, my heart reaches out to you, you deserve real connection and erotic pleasure. Second, I really think you should message the girl above if you think you’re lesbian. I consider myself straight because sex is something I tend to do better with inside of a relationship and I’ve only ever been attracted to men on that level. I’ve also only experienced real immediate sexual attraction to only one woman in my 30 yrs although I tend to masturbate a lot to women and fantasies of being with other women (but have no real desire to act these out.) I say all this because I think I’m somewhat normal and real relationships are what I’ve found make me genuinely and sexually happy. I’m so thrilled for you that you experience such vivid attraction for other women, that’s really lovely (I very rarely experience vivid attraction for anyone but my current partner). I guess I’m beating around the bush here (ha! pun!) but I would suggest you find local groups that offer you opportunities to make connections with other women available for real relationships. I say that because you deserve to experience pleasure with another woman without the angst and without anyone viewing you with anything but love, pleasure and acceptance. You’re making excellent moves.
Sending you love and SFW (sexual fulfillment wishes!)
-TeaSong
Hey, I feel the SAME way 🙁 And they always leave too. So, if you are looking for someone, you can always message me :)I would LOVE to talk to you, sweetie.
I am a Massage Therapist and can relate to you..I feel the same way sometimes when I see women…
Aw you poor babe.. People with masturbation addiction often start rubbing themselves uncontrolably, even if someone walks in on them they can’t stop until they cum. I have been in a purely sexual relationship with a girl for about 3 months now and it’s great. we met online actually there are lots of site you can go on if your a lesbian or just bi curious.
I walked in on my college room mate masturbating once but I was pretty turned on by the whole thing and finished her off with my tongue so the situation went down a little differently :L. I hope you sort yourself out soon honey xx
wow, this story is out of this world. There is no way I actually think this happened. If this is the truth, then you need to start accepting who you are. You enjoy women, there is nothing wrong with that and you need to come out of the closet already. That way you can have much more pleasure and loose the emotional bull****. The key is coming out of the closet and not being afraid of who you are. That way you can be happy. Good Luck.
I know how you feel . I guess I just say I’m bisexual because the thought of being with a man seems nasty , and I can’t stand watching a man and woman together . but seeing another woman undress or when they touch me , I begin to feel so horny . my mother never accepted me for who I am , but I didn’t change or hide it . you shouldn’t either . do what makes you happy and stop worrying about others . I hope everything turns out okay sweetheart !
I long to be with a woman and all my fantasies are about one particular girl… I’ve gotten aroused during massages too and just haven’t been able to stop my thoughts at the time… I was thankful one time when I was blushing and flushed SO much all over that the therapist just said not too worry because it was just the warmth and bloodflow! Afterwards when she left me to get dressed I couldn’t help but touch myself while I was still on the table :s
I really hope you find someone to talk to and maybe even meet up with soon 🙂