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1.
Take charge. Many women are taught that orgasms are out of their
hands. If they have a lousy lover, then they are out of luck. Who
is in charge here? You have to take charge. You are responsible
for your own orgasm. Sure, a skillful lover is most definitely a
plus, but not necessary for you to orgasm. Take matters into your
own hands, figuratively and literally. You don’t have to rely
on anyone else for your orgasms.
2. Get to know your body and your sexual response. Inorgasmia
is 5 times higher in women who have never masturbated before and
know very little about their body. Out of approximately 10% of women
who have never had an orgasm, 95% have never masturbated. The best
way to learn to orgasm is to masturbate.
3. Relax. Relax and enjoy yourself. Don’t pressure yourselves
to have an orgasm. You can actually stop yourself from having an
orgasm by trying too hard. You’d do better to focus on the
journey, rather than the destination. If you take your time and
focus on the journey – on the erotic sensations you are receiving,
then you will experience more pleasure, more enjoyment, and a greater
likelihood that you will reach orgasm.
4. Breathe. Concentrate on deep, slow, even breaths. Many
women hold their breath as they are stimulated. This can hinder
the orgasmic process in some women.
5. Physical Focus. Focus on stimulating your clitoris. Did
you know that 2/3 of women do not orgasm through vaginal penetration
alone? Most women require additional stimulation, such as clitoral
stimulation, to orgasm.
6. Mental Focus. Your thinking can influence your orgasmic
concentration. If you have a negative or defeated attitude –
if you’re too busy thinking, “This is never going to work!”
– then you’re right. This will work against you. You aren’t
in the right orgasm-producing state of mind. Think positively. Concentrate
on the erotic sensations you are experiencing.
7. Vibrator. Many women who have difficulty in achieving
orgasm experience their first one with a vibrator. Vibrators can
provide the consistent rhythm and stimulation that orgasm may require.
While many vibrators are penis shaped, and therefore suggest insertion
into the vagina, your best bet is to focus on the outside, by holding
or rubbing the vibrator against your clitoris, as most women do
not orgasm from vaginal penetration alone – even with a vibrator.
8. PC Muscles. Some women claim they got their first orgasm
after strengthening their PC muscles and then activating them during
sex.
9. Let Yourself Go. Many women who struggle to reach orgasm
tend to remain passive during stimulation. They don’t help
their bodies shift into orgasm. You can’t will an orgasm to
happen, but you can encourage it or resist it. When you get to the
point where you feel an orgasm is right around the corner, then
let yourself go and encourage your orgasm by getting active and
thus pulling your orgasmic triggers: when you breathe, breathe heavily;
when you start moaning, don’t resist it – moan loudly;
when you feel like thrusting your hips, really buck them; toss your
head back; scream out in ecstasy; point your toes; grab your breasts;
contort your face; clamp your eyes shut; flex your vaginal muscles.
Sometimes, you may have to help your body take over and shift into
orgasm.
10. Practice. Practice makes perfect, you know. Besides,
it's a heck of a lot of fun, too!
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