Written By: Anonymous
Ellen was well into her sixties. Good looking, well groomed, tall and slim, she was a constant reminder of how beautiful she must have been as a younger woman. She had been an investment banker until her husband had been diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. Ellen resigned her position to become his constant caregiver. He died a long, agonizing death. His illness had exhausted her physically and emotionally and, by the time he succumbed, she had done almost all of her grieving and was ready to get on with her life.
She and her husband had lived in the Northeast and they had bought a vacation home in Florida where they spent too little time. She did not want to go back to work and had no need to do so financially. Her kids and grand kids were scattered all over the world and had useful, productive lives. She saw them as much as time and schedules permitted but they did not form an integral part of her life. She felt a void that friends, travel or busywork not could fill.
She had enjoyed Florida when they had spent more time there during her husband’s illness. She was a good athlete and was a better than average golfer. She had a good mind and was a better than average bridge player. Now she had time. Her country club community was replete with activities. Ellen decided to move there permanently. She wanted to start again.
Her life with her husband had been relatively conventional. They courted in the fifties and married in the early sixties. They missed the wild times of the flower children and were building their family, home and professional life when the next generation was experiencing pot, the Beatles and the sexual revolution. Sex had been satisfying but not inventive. As they aged together Ellen and her husband had settled into a comfortable companionship. Sex was infrequent but they still felt the intimacy and friendship of years of living together. Ellen had no desire to stray and was ready to believe that her husband had been faithful during their long marriage.
And now Ellen was single. She attracted a large number of friends and acquaintances in Florida. She was appalled by the aggressiveness of single women, whether widowed or divorced, for the attention of unattractive men. He club held singles events regularly. After a few attempts to join in, Ellen resolved that these events were not for her. She was not in the game and chose not to participate. She had no thoughts of dating. She had enough to do. She did not crave the companionship of a man.
She was fascinated by observing the sexual games that were played by people her age. Women dressed as if they were twenty years younger and produced an effect that was more bizarre than sexy. Men tried to hide ever-expanding middles under clothes that might have been more fashionable when they were working. Most women were interested in men as an economic vehicle that would ferry them into comfortable old age. If sex were part of the bargain it was to be tolerated in the hope that time and age would take its toll on their man’s libido. Most men had fantasies of Viagra-enhanced sex without either emotional or financial entanglement.
Ellen’s take on sex was wholly impartial. It has been some years since she had had sex with her husband. During his illness she had lost her desire. She was of a generation that considered self-fulfillment as unladylike. She did not openly discuss sex with her children when they were growing up and certainly did not discuss sex with them at this stage of her life. Some of her friends had alluded to their vibrator “friend” but she was neither curious nor experimental. It was simply not a part of her life now. Even when s