When I was a teenager, I was able to reach orgasm very quickly. Under a minute, usually. And because I had that superpower, I did it many times a day, every day. Sometimes up to 30 times.
Now, in my early 20”s, I am finding that I am having trouble reaching orgasm. Alone, I can get “there” in 5-10 minutes (usually enough time to cause me some serious wrist pain), but with a partner (no matter how good the instructions I give) – it takes 15-20 minutes.
This is wrecking our sex life because _his_ fetish, obsession, is giving women orgasms. He has stated that this is actually the main reason he has sex at all. He has told me that it taking me so long is both “mind-numbing” and “about as sexy as digging a ditch.” As such, he only actually attempts to get me off about twice a month, regardless of how much sex we”re having.
Knowing his history and past experiences, he”s not the ”selfish” type. He said he just gave up, because if he hadn”t he would have had to break it off with me completely and get with a woman he could make cum because it was driving him crazy.
So, in summation, my trouble reaching orgasm quick enough is both ruining my masturbation experience AND my partnered sex experience, and I don”t know what to do to ”speed it up.”
Does anyone have any advice for me? You know, other than “find someone else to have sex with”? (I love him, damnit).
First off: there is NOTHING wrong with you. It takes me over an hour to orgasm, and that is just fine. Everyone”s body works differently.
You say his fetish is to make women orgasm, and that he is not the “selfish” type. I am not trying to criticize him, but it is completely unacceptable to ever make someone feel guilty or bad about how their body feels and responds to pleasure. If he truly cared about giving women pleasure, he would be overjoyed to take the time and give you an amazing orgasm. The fact that he is making you feel bad about yourself is NOT OK. You deserve to be with someone who adores you and feels lucky as hell to get to give your body pleasure, no matter how long it takes.
So let me repeat: there is nothing wrong with you. Your body is perfect just the way it is. You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects your body. Maybe he is generous in lots of other ways, but when it comes to your pleasure he is acting like a selfish little boy. You deserve so much better than that.
maybe try getting yourself in the mood before attempting to have sex with him. for example throughout the day just pump urself up about having sex. I have the same problem with my husband actually its me and i just cant get to it fast enough and after awhile it makes having sex feel like a chore.. not a good feelng at all. SO throughout the day i try to think about having sex all day and trying to get excited just by the thought of it.. come on here and read posts..