Erotic Fiction By: Helen
We never talk about it, my friends and me. We share intimacies that men wouldn’t believe, about our feelings, our children, our finances and even our husbands. But sex, except for some occasional ribald comments about a movie star, is never discussed. We are most respectable. We wear conservative clothes, and do “good deeds”. I serve on the hospital board, another volunteers at the library; a third is involved with conservation. We get out the vote, belong to MADD. We are the most proper of ladies.
Yet, I often wonder about them. I’ve known some of them for years. How I’d like to know more about their sex lives. We all pretend we don’t have any. Sexual needs are just taboo. Yet how I wonder! Since I was a young woman, my sexual needs have seldom been fully met. Even as a teenager, I had such desires. Are my friends all so wrapped up in their work and their children that they feel nothing? When I see a woman in the produce section of the supermarket, picking out bananas and cucumbers, I pause. Is it as innocent as it seems? Or is some other use in mind? (Perhaps someone reading this will understand. I’ve come to grips with it after all these years, but it would be nice to know I’m not a freak.)
Of course my cycle plays a large part. There are times, like now, when my body screams to be satisfied! I’ve lived with it for so long. My husband has no idea. I’ve been sure of that! In the basement, hidden under the insulation in the ceiling, are my toys. When he goes out tonight I’ll use them. Or find something else. I love the excitement of finding new ways to thrill myself. My husband is a good man. He’s kind and a good father. He’s just not a driven as I am. Or does he have a secret life too? I wonder.
I remember the first time I sought something out of the ordinary. I was still living at home then. I come from Upstate New York. We lived out in the country. Our house was on a ridge line and you could see Oneida Lake off in the distance. It was summer of course. I always got home before my parents. There was a thunderstorm brewing. I was in the mood, and had planned to use the privacy. I was experienced by then. I’d had quite a lot of practice. I’d been thinking about it all day. I had no toys in those days. I used other things, but more on that later.
The thunder was rolling in the distance when I got out of the car. It seemed to reverberate in the pit of my stomach. I was shaking with excitement. There was an old elm behind the house. Alas, the elms are gone know. The Dutch Elm Disease has taken them all.
I sat on the grass. It was sultry and still. A breeze was just beginning to come up. I can still remember how my heart pounded as I raised my knees and opened my legs. The slight breeze tickling my sensitive inner thighs was delicious. My hands cupped my breasts. It was exciting to be outside. I felt wicked, but also somehow grounded. As if the earth was a giant mother, understanding all my needs. I unbuttoned my blouse. I shrugged it off and undid my bra. I was ready to climax right there! I lay back against the tree and fondled myself. The wind was coming up, and the thunder boomed louder. God, I needed rele