When Cupid fails you, here’s how to bring your love life back on track

Finding love and keeping the spark alive in these modern times looks nothing like the romantic stories we’ve been fed by Hollywood movies or Shakespearean plays. The dating scene seems more like a battlefield in the sense that everyone struggles to deal with all sorts of unwritten rules, spot red flags, dodge bullets and maybe, somewhere in between, find someone they can connect with. And after all the torment and turmoil is over, instead of a happily ever after, you either get stuck in a monotonous relationship or end things abruptly due to a variety of reasons and continue your never-ending quest to find the one.

That’s how people end up having unfulfilling and meaningless relationships or non-existent love lives. However, just because you’re all too familiar with one or both of the above-mentioned scenarios doesn’t mean all is lost, and you should stop searching for intimacy. You can get out of your long-lasting routine and get your love life back on track, whether you’re single, married or in a complicated relationship. So, here are a few tips to keep in mind if you want to take back control and rewrite the narrative.

Focus on yourself first

It’s easy to put the blame on others or notice someone else’s flaws, but there are (at least) two people in a relationship, and one of them is you. If things haven’t worked out the way you expected until now, maybe it’s time to shift your perspective and start focusing more on yourself.

First of all, you have to understand that it’s not up to other people to make you happy. That’s something only you can provide for yourself. Secondly, if you want to find someone who’s right for you, you need to know what you’re looking for. And for that, you need to know who you are and what you want from life and relationships. If all your life you’ve waited for others to choose you, now you have to turn the tables and be the one who does the choosing. A bit of introspection can go a long way in helping you define your values, principles and standards and create a foundation on which you can build a healthy relationship.

Share your thoughts (and fantasies) with your significant other

If you’re already in a committed relationship and things have been going south for no apparent reason, you’re not alone. Most couples go through routine phases where the partners get so comfortable with each other that they stop trying to keep things interesting. At some point, you start feeling like all the days are the same, and there’s nothing interesting or exciting happening in your relationship anymore.

Here, the key lies in the problem: trying. If nothing happens, it’s because you’ve stopped trying to make it happen. So, instead of waiting around for someone else to fix a problem that didn’t even exist in the first place, why not talk to your partner about it? And since you’ve plucked up the courage to address the elephant in the room, maybe you want to bring some of your fantasies into the discussion. Confessing your fantasies or accessorizing your intimate life might be the missing ingredient in your relationship.

Try something (or someone) new

We tend to associate monotony with long-term relationships, but routine can set in even when you’re a serial monogamist or when you haven’t been involved in any sort of relationship for ages. While you may feel lonely or disheartened by so many failed relationships and the lack of intimacy in your life, this might