8 Signs that your date is stalking you!


Have you seen the new You Netflix series? It tells the story of an online stalker who does everything to get closer to his prey. Well, in real life, things are not as extreme most of the time. But stalking is a real thing. It can happen even on your first date. Sometimes, we might not even comprehend someone is watching closely our social media. What if the person you started dating just yesterday already knows your shoe size, favorite music, or best friends’ names?

Not to frighten you, but stalking happens quite often. Stalking Resource Center provides shocking facts: 61% of women and 44% of men admitted to having been stalked at least once in a lifetime by a current or an ex-partner. What do you do in this situation?

Telltale Signs Your Date Stalks You

1. Calls From The Anonymous

If you have started dating someone or already broke up with a partner, you may start receiving strange calls at the ungodly time of the day. Usually, the other line hangs up as soon as you pick up the phone or tries to add you on social media from a fake account. Is it a prank? We don’t think so. Just think about it: one in six women and one in nineteen men have experienced the same anxiety from an unknown prankster who tries to pull up a Ring move on you. Stalkers violate boundaries, so testing your borders or just trying to hear your voice to make sure it’s your number would be enough for them. A stalker wants to scare, bamboozle, surprise, or control you by phoning your line and patiently waiting. Sounds creepy, we know. If you are bombarded by strange calls, please remain calm and call a National Stalker Helpline.

2. Strange Insta and Facebook invites

If you see that a fake Instagram account appeared right after you started dating (broke up) with a date, it is a sign you need to be more careful. You don’t have enough cues to address your problem directly, but it is a sign someone tries to stay unnamed. If you receive snaps, video calls, and likes from a weird account, feel free to block them or make users see your profile only after your approval.

3. They “Miraculously” Drop By

They may come to your place without warning, for no reason at all, or bring coffee to work, meet you at a party they weren’t invited to. This is a sure sign that a potential stalker has learned your schedule and is now using the acquired knowledge.

Sure, it’s sweet to suddenly meet your date outside the “romantic area” (your home, café, park, etc.) This can be a simple coincidence. But if things repeat with a weird frequency, i.e. when they drive by your house, walk into you at the university, dropped by your workplace, don’t think this is a sign of healthy admiration. Unless you work/study together or live in one area, what are the possibilities for daily meet your new date? You can call it love-bombing at best. At worst and most probable case scenario, they want to check on you to make sure you don’t cheat or talk behind their back. Any paranoid/controlling behavior should alert you. If you see your new friend talking walks around your block, you can surely call the cops on them without notifying because this is not normal behavior.

4. They Just Know

Somehow, your new partner just knows you went through a certain situation or talked with someone about a matter. How do they know it? Some people have a bad habit of checking people’s phones. But this is mere rudeness. If you see that, after a night spent together, your date asks about stuff you mentioned via text, they are testing you, and they have definitely checked on your phone. Don’t think it’s a habit, and you can ask a partner to cease doing this. Just leave them until the noose gets tighter.

5. They suspect you

If your new date asks you questions about your trips and locations, having a smirk on their face or an expression of disbelief, they are paranoid as hell and will check on you later. No explanation can satisfy them. But if your new partner starts getting more serious as if you are telling lies (even if you are), don’t spend time in clarification. You are not guilty! Do not waste time on justifying your actions and leave the date if you didn’t give a single cause to suspect you.

6. They want to learn every tiny detail about you

What you like to eat for breakfast, which coffee shop you go to on weekends, how you commute to work – such questions can be viewed as signs your companion is interested in you. This may be true, but it’s likely that sometimes, constant contact and repetitive questions are one of the signs that your date wants to control you, knowing your daily routine.

7. They know little-known things about you before you talked about them

While it’s natural to browse a potential companion’s social media profiles these days, there are those who clearly overdo it with looking for facts about you. Sometimes they can switch to other channels, for example, learn information through mutual acquaintances or get in touch with colleagues or fellow students. If your partner knows any facts about your life without your knowledge, this should be alarming.

8. They bombard you with gifts

It’s nice to receive a small token of appreciation or a spontaneous surprise from your partner – it’s romantic. But if they always give presents for no reason, it’s likely that your partner wants to be around you too much. If surprises start to be annoying or even frightening, be careful. Stalking is entirely about the desire for control and power, and stalkers often resort to manipulation. By constantly giving gifts, they make you believe that their motives are the purest.

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