One of the most nerve wracking things many of us do in our lives is ask a potential date out. But asking them out you are admitting than you like them and are interested in getting to know them better and that’s an important thing to remember. The nerves for most people come from the fear of rejection we all dread. No one likes to be rejected but there are times when if you don;t ask you never find out.
The best way to limit your chances of rejection or at least to minimize the damage is to follow a few simple rules that I’ve listed below:
Never Ask In Public: Do not ask someone out in front of friends or bystanders. Instead chose a time when you are both alone, but do it in person. I’ve seen many people ask friends to relay the message only to have it end in disaster because the friend conveys the wrong message, does it with a smirk and let’s face it if someone was going to ask you out wouldn’t you be more likely to say yes if they were stood in front of you. Also don;t simply leave a note and hope for the best! People can ignore notes and worse say they never got it, which means you’ve lost your chance. Don’t do it over the phone, it’s not easy to read someone’s facial expression over the phone. Do it in person and do it in style.
Know What His/Her Interests Are: This can go a long way to achieving the difference between a yes and a no. Take a little time and do you homework on what they like or dislike. For example if they enjoy reading, why not ask if they would accompany you to the local bookstore, most have cafe’s nowadays *wink* If the answer is yes then you have the perfect opportunity to do more research, for example find out which authors she likes and present her with a tastefully wrapped copy of one of their books on your first date.
Listen and Learn: Everyone likes to feel special. And if you ask them what they like, they’re usually quite happy to talk about it. So ask, and listen. If she loves the color pink, and you present her with a bouquet of pink roses, she’ll think you’re amazing. If he says he’s a huge Star wars fan and you present him a small model of Yoda, he’ll wonder how you knew. People aren’t used to really being paid attention to. A lot of people in the world ignore the important things. If you listen, and pay attention, you’re already ahead of the game.
Get Into the Style: This is something you have to do subtly. Every person has their own ‘style’ they enjoy, and they tend to hang out with friends who share that style. If someone is into everything Gothic, they probably hang out with a lot of Goth friends. They enjoy Goth, they love being around it. They probably have other types of friends too, but the Goth look makes them happy. If someone loves long hippy outfits, they probably naturally gravitate towards people who do. So pay attention to your date and see how they like to dress, how their idols dress, what makes them feel happy.
However don’t leap into this! That will show you’re a fake that is just doing this for effect. But truly TRY small changes. See if these changes make you happy too. Try just a small change, to show you *care* what this other person cares about and want to share. If you really like it, try other small changes. Your date will notice that you’re starting to appreciate their style, and will be happy that you share the same feelings.