Tutorial: Flirting – A Rough Guide 1

How-to-flirtWritten By: Jenne

For some, flirting is easy. For the remaining 98% of the world, it can be a combination of embarrassment and ridicule. With a little bit of thought and preparation though anyone can be a flirt, all it really takes is confidence and practice. Below I’ve listed what I think are important points that can make flirting fun and easier to.

Get Out Of The House: This might sound obvious but it’s surprising how many people think they can learn to flirt in front of the TV. It isn’t going to happen. Yes, it is possible to flirt on the net and it’s probably easier than flirting face to face with someone, but remember that eventually you might want to meet this person and how are you going to react then? If all you ever do is sit at home and not interact with others then when it comes to that face to face meeting you might well find things don’t go as well as you expected or hoped.

Give Yourself Permission To Flirt: Before you can do anything well you have to give yourself permission to try. All good flirting starts with an attitude and that attitude comes from only one person: You. Make your attitude towards flirting a positive one and you’ll find it becomes much easier. This is especially true for the ladies, if you think that only men flirt, then think again. Take a good look around you next time your out and watch how many women initiate the flirting ritual nowadays.

Smile And The Whole World Smiles Back: Don’t believe me? Next time your out and about, smile at three people and watch them smile back. It’s almost a guaranteed human response. It’s also one of the best tools in the good flirts armory. No one wants to talk to a grouch or someone who appears to be a misery, most of us respond to happy people and happy people smile. A smile is the primary form of nonverbal flirting! Remember regardless of the precise number of muscles used, smiling causes far fewer muscles to contract and expand than frowning, so know you have no excuse not to smile!

Take A Lesson From The Babies: Babies don’t talk and yet they grab our attention and make us respond to them. They use body language to do that. Through their body language they communicate, their fears, wants and needs and you can do worse than take a few lessons from the little ones as they are true experts in the field of body language. [You can read more on body language HERE]

The Eyes Have It: Eye contact is an absolutely essential part of flirting! Make eye contact with your target. Glance away on occasion – this is very important because otherwise you’ll appear to be staring. Once you’ve established eye contact, smile. REALLY smile – not the little grin you offer your Boss when you hand in a – offer a heartfelt smile.

Practice Makes Perfect: If at first you don’t succeed try, try again was my Mothers favorite saying and one that applies to flirting as well as many other areas of life. You don’t expect to get on a bike for the first time and be able to ride the tour de France, so why do we expect that flirting will be any different.

Listen: Once flirting moves from non verbal to the talking stage, remember to listen to your potential date. You have two ears and only one mouth and they are designed that way for a reason. There is nothing worse than a flirt/date that talks about themselves all night.

Rejection Is Not A Bad Thing: Honestly, rejection while it’s not good for your ego is something that all good flirts have to learn to face. Rejection doesn’t have to be negative if you don’t let it. Turn rejection into success by turning the tables on it mentally. They really have no idea what they are missing: You after all and that really is there loss not yours. Leave your ego behind when your out and about and you’ll have a lot more fun. [For more on rejection and how to handle it click HERE.]

Personal Space: I like my personal space and if you invade it you are likely to get rejected. This is where body language and your ability to read it really comes into play. Some people are very tactile and love to touch everything, others are very oral and love the sound of their own voice, while others are simply visual. Being aware of your potential dates body language can really clue you into what type of sense they use the most when communicating. Just make sure you don’t move into fast and invade their space.

No Is Not A Dirty Word: For many of us not flirting means never hearing the word no and that seems to suit us just fine. The trouble is if we never flirt, we are likely never going to hear the word yes either. Equally if someone flirts with you it’s okay to say No to them. Many of us have difficulty with this very simple word but learning to hear and use it can really help build your confidence which in turn help you communicate better, which is all flirting really is when you break it down to it’s barest bones.

Take The Initiative: Don’t just stand there talk to the person you just made eye contact with. Nothing ventured, nothing gained is another of my favorite sayings because it’s true. If you do all the hard work of making eye contact, smiling and using the correct body language that say I like you, then it makes sense to at least say Hi. Think about it, almost all of the relationships I know started with that simple word including my own.

What If? : What if he/she doesn’t like me? What if they are married with three kids? What if they think I’m a complete bozo? Any of these sound familiar and there are plenty more what ifs where those came from. I call this the what if syndrome and I used to suffer from it too. That was until I changed my attitude and took a reality check. Nobody is better than anyone else, sure they may have a better job, house and face than you but they still go to toilet, have sex and pick their nose the same as everyone else. Humanize people and they suddenly become less intimidating.

The Numbers Game: Meeting the right person for you is basically a numbers game. Remember you only need to find one.

Have Fun!: Flirting is as much about fun as is it is anything else. Just be careful not to tease to much as this can get you in deeper than you may actually want to go. IF your not really interested in someone, then a simple flirt and walk away is all that is required. Remember flirting doesn’t have to be sexual or lead to a date, it can just be well fun to do.

Now you have the basic principals of flirting including the most important do’s and don’ts, don’t sit there any longer, get out and try it…

For more advance techniques please click HERE.

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One comment on “Tutorial: Flirting – A Rough Guide

  1. Pingback: Tutorial: Advance Flirting ← Clitical.Com

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