For the non-believers, for those reluctant to give in to your carnal wants and needs, for those who feel that masturbation is wrong and unnatural, let me be the first to say I was once right there with you. I was 16 years old when I first gave into what my body wanted and now at 20 I am glad I did. Trust me that first time was the most horrifying and wrong moment in my life or so it seemed. As it would turn out I was just uneducated and still falling prey to what wanted me to think about sex and my sexuality. My parents were little help on the matter, when I hit puberty I sat through a humiliating conversation about how I was turning into a beautiful butterfly and that sex was for marriage. My school’s education was on the menstrual cycle and how you needed both an egg and a sperm to create a baby, it would be high school before I heard about birth control, condoms, and STD’s. Then you had my church where we learned that sex before marriage was bad and that masturbation was bad. The closest thing to porn I had ever seen at that point were sex scenes in R-rated movie and photos of naked men. Then of course we also have the taboo that female masturbation has as well as many, many misconceptions about female sexuality. So where did this leave me, with nothing.
That said, my journey into the sexual realm was not an easy path to say the least. For a long time I refused to give in to what my body wanted, I felt like a caged animal trapped inside a body that was not my own. Sexual frustration is quite a real thing, and truly unnecessary. I repressed my desires for a long time namely because I did not know what was happening to me. However, once I knew I restrained myself because I knew I wanted sex but had learned it was bad. I waited, the need to release myself growing bit by bit until I could stand it no more. So, in a fit, I stripped down to nothing and dry humped a pillow until I couldn’t stand it. Afterward I all I felt was guilt and shame but despite that I could not stop from masturbating. When the urge came I gave in because in the moment it felt good but after I felt terrible, like I had committed a crime, a sin against God. Nevertheless, what could I do, go to my mother, tell my teacher? No.
What did I do then? I sought help from the internet. I stole my sister computer, set the browser to private viewing and started Googling in an attempt to find answers. Of course, I was surprised by what I found, the information about female masturbation amazed me, and the fact that women were willing to come forward and talk about sex and masturbation stunned me. In that moment I realized I was not alone. There were people out there just like me and they didn’t feel horrible about. For days I scoured the web reading everything I could. I learned more about sex and masturbation in those few days than I had my whole life and it was liberating. With the guilt gone, I started using my fingers while masturbating, I tried techniques I read about, and started to fantasize. In those first two years I learned many things, I figured out what l liked and didn’t like while playing with myself. Sex I found out is a messy business with a lot of fluids involved and I had even had intercourse yet. Lastly, I learned what kind of fantasies worked for me, as it turned out I like to fantasize about men who take charge in the bedroom and have their way while being sensitive about it, I also like the occasion women from time to time.
Where did I go from there then? Well I discovered porn after I got my own laptop before my 18th birthday. I found that the sounds were enough to get me hot and with a helping hand would take me to orgasm though I found the images demeaning as the women turned into objects rather than actual people. However, everything I had learned from my own experience and from the internet would come in handy when I had sex for the first time. Porn had taught me how to handle a penis and allowed me not to be a complete bumbling idiot in bed. The forums spoke on what I should expect during my first experience with intercourse, such as possible though minor pain when the penis was inserted for the first time and the discomfort you will feel the morning after. The greatest thing I had though was the knowledge I had of my own body so I could tell my partner what felt good and what did