Written By: Ash
Since I was a young girl of about nine, I have been…well, I guess “fascinated” is the best way to describe it…by masturbation, both male and female (but mostly female). I’m 23 now and still fascinated. Like raindrops and roses and warm woolen mittens, it’s one of my favorite things…
I was nine, as I recall, when I first discovered the incredible pleasures of orgasm. Of course, at that age, I had no knowledge of the term, let alone the reality of orgasms. To me it was “the good feeling” I discovered I could get by rubbing my “special spot” “down there.”
Actually, it wasn’t so much a discovery and just a the final step in self-exploration. I had been touching myself “down there” for as long as I can remember and having some very pleasant feelings. My family was pretty open and accepting of sexuality and I was never punished but I do recall being told that it was something I should do in private. It was my sister, 3 years older, who told me that girls could get a “really great feeling” by rubbing themselves down there. I don’t recall being all that excited by her telling me this, but I do very clearly remember my very first orgasm.
Before I went to sleep at night I’d often touch myself “down there” for a few minutes, more out of what I guess was habit than anything really sexual. One night, for no reason that I can recall, I kept rubbing with my finger longer than I usually would and I recall going faster and faster when all of a sudden my legs got really stiff and started shaking and it was like an electric shock when through my whole body. For a couple of seconds I was really scared, but then the pleasure kicked in. To say that a whole new world was opened up to me that night would be an understatement! I was “addicted” from that first time and have rarely missed a day (or night) without an orgasm since.
I mentioned my sister earlier and she was very much my partner in crime and “sex teacher” when I was growing up. We were openly nude with each other all the time and for a few years shared a bedroom. I was really interested in watching her body develop and was very impatient for mine to show the first signs of puberty (which it did at age 11). Although we were never sexually involved with each other in the sense of “having sex,” there was a lot of exploration and experimenting and many, many conversations. She and I are still very close and will sometimes kid around and tease each other about our younger days experiences.
We would explore each others’ bodies, mostly me looking at hers and being fascinated by and jealous of her having pubic hairs. I remember how excited she was when the first hairs appeared and her nipples started to develop and I think it was around this time that my parents gave her a book on how girls develop. We had many experiences looking at the pictures in the book and comparing our bodies to the photos and to each other. We learned together about our clitorises, vaginas, labia, etc., and as continued to develop she was very open about showing me what she looked like “down there.” (Even though we knew the proper terms by now, it was still “down there” in our conversations).
From age 11 to 13 (14 to about 16 for her), we shared the same bedroom. By then we both knew that we masturbated, although we had never actually done it..or anything else sexual…with each other. As I remember it now, it had to be within the first couple of days or our being roommates that I heard what I was pretty sure was her masturbating under the covers after we turned out the lights. I asked her if she was “doing it” and she said that she was and that I could just go ahead and do it, too, if I wanted to. “I mean, after all we’re sisters and we both know we do it, so no big deal” was how she said it. And from that night on, we did it almost every night, listening to each other and sometimes talking a little bit about how good it felt, etc. But, again, we never did anything that would be considered “having sex” with each other.
Sometime shortly after we started sharing a bedroom, she told me about something that she made me promise to keep a secret. When I promised, she led me into my parents bedroom and showed me something she found in my mom’s bed stand – a vibrator, one of those dildo-shaped ones that runs on batteries. Although I didn’t know for sure, I had a pretty good idea what it was and when she turned it on I knew for sure. We fooled around with it a little bit that afternoon, touching it to our clits through our clothes and giggling, but not going any further. But I was intrigued by this “sex thing” as we called it and one afternoon when I was home alone (which didn’t happen all that often – my mother didn’t work and was usually home all day) I decided to try it out.
Well, as you can probably imagine, by the time I snuck it out of my mom’s room and into my bedroom and took my jeans and pants off, I was already pretty damned turned-on and wet. I turned on the vibrator and very gently and tentatively touched it to my clit and it felt really good – better than anything had ever felt before. So I continued and put it full force on my clit and even now I can remember my reaction: OH MY GAWD!!!! Never up to that point had I had an orgasm that was so intense and powerful. I waited a few minutes and tried it again and again I came…hard! I was so excited that I was literally shaking and would’ve continued but I knew I had to get it back where it belonged before my mom got home.
A few days after this my sister and I were home alone and the subject of “the sex thing” came up and we went upstairs with no specific purpose other than to look at it, but I know that we were both thinking the same thing – let’s try it out. And so we did!
I guess I wasn’t all that surprised when my sister told me that she had already tried it out when nobody was home and I confessed that I had, too. We were both giggling like only schoolgirls of that age can as we scurried to our room with our treasure. We fooled around with it, teasing each other, playfully poking it at each others’ crotches and, without any real acknowledgement on either of our parts, getting more than a little bit turned-on in the process. It was my sister who took it to the next step. “Wanna try it out together?” she asked, knowing full well that I’d say yes.
In a matter of seconds we had stripped off our clothes and were laying next to each other sideways on her bed, our shoulders and heads against the wall so we were semi-sitting. She went first and I watched, my eyes nearly bugging out of my head. At first she just had it on her clit and was kind of playing around and laughing but after just a couple of minutes she closed her eyes and started rubbing and pinching her breast with one hand while she held the vibrator tight against her clit. I was, more unconsciously than anything, slowly rubbing my clit with my finger as I watched her doing it and it only took like maybe 3-4 minutes for her to cum. Her back arched up and she started to tremble and she moaned kinda softly and I knew she was having an orgasm.
Then it was my turn and I was almost grabby as I reached for this new-found plaything. Sara (we’ll call her that – I don’t think my sister would appreciate my using her real name) told me to move around so I was laying full-length on the bed “so I can see better.” For whatever reason, the idea of her wanting to watch me was a turn-on and I quickly moved as she suggested. She was kneeling on the bed beside me, watching me very intently. (It might be of some interest that she was pretty well developed at this time – her boobs were about a B-cup and she had what I guess you’d call a “full bush”). I was just beginning but I do recall that I had some pubic hair and my breasts were about the size of half-tangerines – not exactly Playboy model size, but at that age (around 11) I was pretty proud of them.
Being already very turned-on by rubbing my clit and watching her have an orgasm, it didn’t take more than a minute at most for me to cum and even now, several years later, I can remember it as one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had. I was just totally overwhelmed and for what I think might have been the first time, just let myself go totally in terms of thrashing around and moaning and just really getting into it. It seemed to last forever and when I finally came down and opened my eyes Sara had the vibe again (I don’t even remember her taking it out of my hand) and gave herself another orgasm while she was kneeling right there beside me.
Then we both just sorta collapsed for awhile and didn’t say anything or really do anything except just lay there on the bed. After probably 15 minutes or so we got up and put our clothes back on and that was it. We never really talked about it and that was the one and only time we ever did anything like that together. We still masturbated under the covers at night, but that was it. I think maybe we both realized that we could pretty easily cross a line and break some taboo and we just didn’t. There have been times since that I’ve wondered what might have happened and even wished that maybe we would’ve done more, but it’s probably better that we didn’t.
I did “accidentally” see Sara and a boyfriend messing around a few times (I say “accidentally” because I was doing a little peeking) and that was pretty erotic. She and I would talk about anything and everything sexual and I knew the day after she lost her virginity and when she gave a guy a blowjob for the first time and stuff like that. We were always very open with each other in that way and she taught me a lot just by telling me about her experiences.
Another thing I remember is hearing my parents having sex (my room was right next to theirs) and on many occasions I would masturbate while listening to them. I think I mentioned that my family was pretty open about sex and both Sara and I knew that my parents had sex pretty often, although they never did anything really sexual in front of us. Sometimes they’d kiss and my dad would grab mom’s butt or a boob or something, but nothing beyond that. I remember more than once they’d just go into their bedroom during an afternoon or whatever and we knew, without having to be told (and we’d never ask!) that they were going to have sex and it was just a natural thing.
On one occasion when I was bout 11, maybe 12, I got up at night to go to the bathroom and looked over the railing down into the family room and say mom giving dad a bj and that was a real eye-opener. I mean, I knew in general about oral sex (by then Sara had experienced giving head and told me about it), but I wasn’t really prepared for that particular scene. Still, it was somehow very erotic and I remember that I went back to bed and masturbated, thinking about what it would be like. I should also say at some point that nudity was no big deal in our family. By that I don’t mean that we all paraded around naked or anything like that and one of our family rules was that if a door was closed you always knocked before going in. But if somebody was going from the shower to the bedroom naked or something like that, it was no big deal. I saw both my mother and dad naked several times and remember being really fascinated by my dad’s penis – it looked so huge to me at that age. I never saw him with an erection (and never wanted to!), except for that one time when I saw mom giving him head. That scene has stuck in my mind and every now and then it’ll creep into my fantasies, but I still feel pretty weird about it.
At about age 12 a girlfriend, Lisa, and I became best friends and were inseparable. We did everything together including, as is the case with all girls that age, talking about boys and sex and our bodies. We did the usual sleepover thing and had many erotic experiences together, usually of the “show and compare” variety, but we also did some exploratory touching and masturbating and things like that. That’s actually a story unto itself, so I’ll not take up space here. Just let me say that I remember Lisa and those experiences and she is very often in my fantasies. I’d love to know where she is right now. If I did, I’d try to get together and see what might happen. But that, too, is another story.
I started fooling around with boys at about age 13 and would get very turned-on and come home and masturbate. Even when I wasn’t with a boy, I’d masturbate at least once a day or night and very often more than that. I did it in many different places (a little fun “habit” that continues to this day). Restrooms, other kids’ houses, the community pool (the water jets were at just the right level!). I was also experimenting with different techniques and ways to masturbate. Sometimes I’d “borrow” mom’s vibrators (she had added to her toy collection) and, like I guess all girls, experimented with inserting different things up my cunt. That wasn’t all that big a turn-on, though. I discovered the tub faucet and aiming it directly at my clit was definitely a turn-on, but the position was pretty uncomfortable. The shower massager was another story entirely, though! Even though it took awhile, I discovered that I could cum very nicely that way and many’s the time somebody would be yelling at me to stop using up all the hot water. I don’t know if they knew what I was doing, but they probably figured it out.
Back to my experiences with boys. As I said, I started fooling around when I was about 13. By that I mean making out, petting, feeling off and whatever else two kids can do without actually having sex (fucking) or giving each other oral (at that age, the very thought of it was like “YUCK!”). It wasn’t long before I let a guy finger me and he had no clue about what he was doing (nor, in reality, did I). Although I got pretty aroused and wet, him just ramming his finger in and out of my cunt wasn’t gonna get me over the top. On the other hand (no pun intended), I remember the first time I felt his dick. That was pretty exciting and I didn’t object at all when he took it out of his pants and asked me to play with it. Guess what? In about two minutes I learned what happened when a guy came. I learned and had cum all over my jeans. Still, it was pretty exciting and I quickly learned about keeping that thing aimed away from me.
Eventually I was able to teach him about my clit and how to stimulate me and it didn’t take long before we were giving each other manual orgasms. One afternoon we were at his house (he was a latchkey kid and his parents didn’t get home until about 2 hours after he got home from school) and, as we always did, started messing around and somehow the subject of masturbation came up. We talked about it and, after some initial hesitation, we admitted to each other that we did it. Well, it was just a small step from talking about it to doing it in front of each other and another door was opened up. From the very first time I absolutely loved both watching and being watched.
Having his eyes glued to my hand as I rubbed my clit, seeing how it turned him on, was a huge turn-on for me. I deliberately “put on a show” for him (I’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist..as well as a voyeur), spreading my lips to give him a good look, fingering my cunt, everything I could think of. His reactions let me know that my “show” was having its effect on him. Watching him stroke his cock, watching it grow, watching his body respond as he got closer and closer to orgasm, hearing his moans and sighs, was just incredibly erotic. He came first and seeing him cum, seeing it shooting out of his cock, watching his body convulse, was one of the most erotic things I had ever seen and it was but a few seconds until I came, too.
From that day on, masturbating together became one of our favorite activities. That’s not to say that it replaced all the other great things we learned how to do, including oral, but it was right up there on the list. There were other guys after him during my jr. high and high school years and watching each other masturbate was something that happened with almost every guy I ever had any type of sexual involvement with. Sometimes it would happen when I’d ask a guy, at the right moment, to show me how he got himself off. Sometimes it would just be something we did spontaneously. I never had a guy not want to do it…I think every guy likes to show a girl his dick and if she wants to watch him jack-off, that’s even better. I also think that virtually all guys are really turned-on by the idea of a girl masturbating and watching a girl do it is like a fantasy come true.
When I was around 16, Sara, my “sexual mentor,” got me a vibrator and all I can say is THANKS!! From time to time I’d sneak mom’s and, later on, Sara had one that she let me borrow sometimes, but there was something about having my very own that was almost as great as getting my driver license. You can be sure that I made good use of it! Masturbation had become a daily habit, something I looked forward to, and having my very own vibrator was just something so very special.
As I got a bit older I got a bit bolder and masturbated in even more places. In my car. Backstage at school. On the school bus one night on the way back from a football game (I was sitting by myself toward the back and everybody else was asleep, or at least I think they were). In a movie theater once.
During my teens I was vaguely (and sometimes not so vaguely) aware of a curiosity about other girls in a sexual way. I had a few girlfriends who were somewhat open about sex and, like I guess all girls do, we’d sometimes talk about “the details” of our experiences, our boyfriends and things like that. Masturbation was something we kind of joked around about but it was like a “taboo” topic. Nobody would ever come right out and say they did it, or if they did, it was like something they just tried once or something. Maybe it had something to do with my experience with Sara when we masturbated together or my experiences with a girlfriend when I was 12-13, but I developed a major fantasy and turn-on about masturbating with other girls and watching each other.
I was always so very curious about my girlfriends and other girls I knew, as well as older women. Did they do it? How often? How did they do it? Would they do it with another girl? My school was a “showers optional” school, meaning that after PE you could shower if you wanted to, but didn’t have to. There were a few girls who, like me, weren’t all that freaky about being naked in front of other girls and would change clothes and take showers with others around. I’d very often discreetly “check them out,” (and later on figured out that they were probably doing the same to me) and had many fantasies involving them, remembering what they looked like naked and wondering about what it would be like to do it (masturbate) with them.
After high school I screwed around for a year, not really knowing what I wanted to do. Then I decided (with more than a little parental pressure) to give college a try. The first year I lived in a dorm and had a roomie. She was definitely a hottie and very into sex, but also totally straight (or so she said and I never had any reason to disbelieve her). She had no problems with our being nude in front of each other, like coming out of the shower or changing clothes or whatever, and I had a lot of fantasies about her (she’d probably die if she knew). One night (and only one night out of the entire year…dammit!) I heard her masturbating late at night when she thought I was asleep. There was no mistaking what was happening and there was just enough light in the room for me to make out the movement of her hand under the covers. This was a big turn-on and I very quietly masturbated right along with her, wanting so badly to say something, wanting to join her, but there was no way I’d be that brave. I mean, I’ve had a lot of sexual adventures and experiences and some of them pretty wild and risky, but I just couldn’t bring myself to making a move on her.
The memory of that night is still very vivid and is very often in my fantasies. In my fantasy, of course, I do have the courage to let her know that I can hear her and that I’d like to join her and she is all for it. If only I’d have at least tried to say something to her about it, either then or later, but I never did.
I also heard and dimly saw her and her boyfriend fucking one night. I was already asleep when they came in, both pretty trashed. They were trying to keep quiet but made enough noise to wake me up and I watched across the room as they did it under the covers. Again I was pretty turned-on and very quietly masturbated.
I hung out with a pretty big group of kids during my first couple of years in college and, like in high school, had a few “friends with benefits” and fuck buddies. Also had a couple of guys that I’d just get together with sometimes to masturbate together and never really went any further.
One guy I knew, a really nice guy but not at all cool and, in all honesty, not very attractive, was really kind of pathetic. I mean nobody would ever go out with him and one afternoon I was just hanging with some friends and they kind of drifted off and he and I were alone together and he was talking and he told me that he had fantasized about me. Well, if most guys had said this to me, I would’ve told ’em where to stick it, but he was, like I said, a really sweet guy and I just felt kinda sorry for him. He told me that one thing he fantasized about (OK, so I asked him to tell me what he fantasized about me) was me being naked and watching him jack-off. Well…yeah, I decided, what the hell, why not? So I let him play out his fantasy. I even went so far as to masturbate along with him and actually managed to get off. That was kinda strange, but also erotic in a different sort of way.
I have a steady boyfriend now and it’s been awhile since I’ve had any kind of masturbation experiences with anybody else. He and I do it together all the time and both of us love to watch and be watched. Still, I have this really strong curiosity and fantasy about other women and masturbation. Doing it with another woman and watching each other is still a huge fantasy. Just talking to another girl about it, like how often, different places and techniques and whatever else, would be extremely erotic. I’m definitely bi curious (I’ve had one girl/girl experience that didn’t go all that far…one of those “just happened” kind of things) and would like to have a sexual experience with another woman.
There have been some other experiences, but they’ll have to wait for a later time. Needless to say, I love to masturbate and continue to be very curious, turned-on and fascinated by it, both as an activity and as a topic. “An orgasm is just a short reach away!”
So I guess that’s my “masturbation history.” I’d love to hear from other WOMEN (c’mon guys, give me a break, OK?) who might share my curiosities and interests in masturbation and bisexuality. If you’d like to write and talk about our experiences, fantasies, etc., feel free.