Breast Cancer Month: A Personal Journey 1

Breast Cancer Awerness MonthBreasts: I’m not sure about you but I have something of a love hate relationship with mine. I can look in the mirror one day and they are there and looking dandy, the next I feel quite differently about them.  During the month of October many of us turn our thoughts to our breasts, thanks to it being breast cancer awareness month. I wanted to tell you my personal story, and why I think self examines should be an important part of your healthcare routine.

There was a time some years ago that made me realize just how important my breasts actually, were to me. One day I noticed a small lump in my left breast. It wasn’t huge, but I knew it was a lump. My Hubby examined it as well, just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, and he confirmed that there was a pea sized lump there. It was at that point, my life went into something of a tailspin.

I went to see the Doctor the next day, who then referred me to the local breast cancer clinic. Another two days came and went until I found myself sitting in the reception area, waiting to see the specialist. It was only then, that I really began to reflect on what my breasts actually meant to me. Fear of losing something has a way of making you appreciate it more, I guess. I wondered what it would be like to lose a breast. Would it change the way I felt about myself, or the way others perceived me? Would my Hubby leave me for a younger, perky double breasted woman? Looking back, I realized that many of the thoughts I had were pretty silly, but they ran through my head non the less and I’m sure I was not alone in my thinking as several of us sat there waiting to see our specialist.

I had so many questions, at least until I went in to see said specialist, who examined me and then decided a quick biopsy was in order. I wasn’t ready for that, I wasn’t prepared for that. I had no idea what that even meant, but they gave me a quick run down and it seemed simple enough.

Before long I found myself lying flat on a table, with one breast poking through a hole, and before I knew it, the Doctor had jabbed what I can only describe as a staple gun into my boob, and taken a tiny, tiny  piece out. A little bit of pain they said. Yes, it was quick but it wasn’t painless but then without any pomp or ceremony I was dressed and now came the wait. The wait for the test results, which back then would take about 48 hours.

I spent the next two days resting at home, with a painful boob, which looking back was a constant reminder of the possible doom I was facing. I talked to Hubby who assured me that he would still love me, even with one boob, if that was the case. We had some deep conversations about the subject, which again was a good thing. I searched the internet, which I soon discovered was not actually a good idea. The Internet was relatively new at the time, but the info I found was scary and only fueled my fears, until finally I was called back to the clinic to get my answers.

The whole specialists visit was done in something of a haze, I didn’t have cancer and I was going to be fine. I said thanks and left. It wasn’t until I reached the parking lot that the full enormity of being told I was going to be fine hit me, and it hit me with a force I wasn’t expecting. I can clearly recall sitting in my car, and balling my eyes out. I should say here that generally I’m not the crying type. I’m the strong one, that can face anything. So my reaction actually caught me off guard.

Why was it that my boobs had suddenly become so important to me? Was a woman only because I had boobs and loosing one would be like loosing part of my sexual identity? The truth is I never did quite figure out that the answers to any of the questions, but I’ve never taken those two big bags of tissues that hang from my chest for granted since, and I hope you won’t either!

I used to think that examining my own breasts was a boring task, but I’ve devised my own breast exam that I now often use as part of my personal masturbation routine. It’s easy, uncomplicated and above all important. It makes things fun and I think everything in life should be fun. Below you will find my own breast examine technique and you are free to use and adapt it any way you choose.

Equipment Needed:
A full length mirror

Technique: Start by undressing slowly in front of the mirror. Take your time, no one is looking and there’s no reason to rush. Now take a good look at your naked body, run your hands over it’s length, feel your unique curves, contours, and skin beneath your fingers tips.

Take a break, and stand with your shoulders straight and your hands on your hips. Now take a good long look at your breasts. Realize how amazing they are, and how much pleasure they give you, but look deeper than that. Get to really know what they look like. Study them closely, check they are the shape they always are. That they are the color that always meets your eyes as you look at them. Really get to know what they look like and over time noticing any visual changes will be much easier.

Now look again but this time raise your arms. Again get to know your breasts. They are yours and yours alone and this is part of looking after them. They can give you and a possible partner lots of pleasure, but first you need to get to know them visually. Now you know what they look like, let’s take some time to explore them through touch.

Whilst your still standing, start by exploring one breast using your opposite hand, so use your left hand on your right breast and vise versa. Stating at your collar bone begin to explore your left breast with just your finger tips. Use circular motions and cover about the size of a quarter with each motion. Slowly move over your breast, and cover it in those circular motions whilst you watch in the mirror. Travel down to your belly and then back up to your armpit until you have covered your entire breast. Now repeat with your technique with your right breast. You can vary the pressure of your finger tips as you move up and down either breast and take me to get to know not only how each part of your breast feels but also how it responded to your touch.

Now go and lie down on your back. I prefer the bed, jut for convince but I’ve been known to draw myself a long bath and do this there as I relax. Now using the same exercise as before, small circular motions, explore each of your breasts once more. They will likely feel slightly different in the laid back position, so you should get to know them both standing up and laying down. Again vary the pressure you use, and really take the time to get to know your breasts.

Once you have examined your breasts, I’m willing to bet you will be in the mood for some more exploring, and there are no rules that say you shouldn’t. After all getting to know your own body is an important step towards, understanding when and if there is a problem.

I do this about once a month, and I find that by making my self examination a normal part off my masturbation routine, it’s not a chore or as clinical as it once was. Of course, if you do find anything unusual you should ALWAYS get it checked out by a medical professional.

By clicking on the image below you can find ways to help in the fight against breast cancer as well as other ways you can protect yourself and your loved ones!

October is breast cancer awerness month

One comment on “Breast Cancer Month: A Personal Journey

  1. Reply Salome Wilde Oct 10,2014 12:50 pm

    Thanks for this post.

    I can relate to the love-hate relationship with breasts, so much. I am 4.5 years out from a diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer. Lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation, early menopause and ongoing drug treatments–but I’m cancer-free and doing fine. “Fine” changed in meaning for me significantly, of course, but I sweat the small stuff less and enjoy life more, a very strange side-effect or “silver lining” that came with cancer. An “I’m so glad I’m not going to die!” feeling that doesn’t always stay with me, but mostly does.

    Self-exam did not help me, though I don’t want to tell anyone not to do it. I felt nothing. But I did forget for TWO YEARS not to get my mammogram, and that likely had a very negative impact. So yeah, check yourself out and get those mammograms, despite the fact that they are highly problematic re cancer for their radiation and such. Someday soon, we must do better than radiation and lopping off body parts, eh?

    Finally, let me return to the love-hate issue: I was a 40DD until this year, when I got a bilateral breast reduction. Incredibly good decision for me. I love knowing what it’s like to be small chested, to fit easily into all shirts, to run without crossing my arms in front of me, no-hook bras (instead of the 5-hooks I was wearing), and no back pain.

    All in all, of course I wish I’d never gotten cancer, but I’ve also learned a lot, both despite and because of it.

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