This weeks Bloggers Spotlight takes us to the realm of InsatiableDesire.Com and the wonderful world of Rayne. Rayne kindly took some time out of her busy schedule and answered some questions about her wonderfully kinky but desirable blog:
Q: Why a blog about kink, and how would you define kink as it relates to your blog insatiable desire as not all kinks are created equal?
When I finally admitted to M (my owner/husband) that I was interested in wearing his collar, he sent me to the internet to research what I was asking for so I’d understand what I was getting myself into. Back then, there were very few blogs about dominant/submissive (or any other top/bottom type) relationships, and the few that existed were written by people who swore on everything holy that they never did anything wrong. Ever.
By the time I realized that, I’d already been in trouble more times than I could count. I was like, “Well, shit. I’m never gonna get this slavery gig down, because I’m a royal fuck up.” And M was like, “Ffs. I think it’s more likely that they just don’t air their dirty laundry.”
So I started talking to other submissives and slaves online, and they were always talking about how they failed at what they did because soandso’s blog said bottoms don’t get in trouble; they just do what they’re told. And I got mad.
Putting on a collar doesn’t make you suddenly perfect. Shit happens. People screw up. Even dominants, from time to time, though don’t tell them I said that!
So! I asked for permission to start a blog. Our friend named it Insatiable Desire because M would take me offline to use and abuse me, and when we got back online, I’d be complaining about being horny again within minutes. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Define kink, huh? That’s a toughie.
With regard to society, a kink is a sexual desire that goes against the norm. Our kinks, though, are pretty specific, and mostly involve sex in some way. We’re into (consensual) force, S&M, and humiliation play. I play the modern-day house slave with a penchant for writing, which means I do most of the cooking, cleaning, and animal tending. M identifies as a master, which means he’s in control of me always. I identify as a pleasure slave, which means I do whatever brings him pleasure…right down to taking out the trash.
As for how kink pertains to Insatiable Desire…well, I’m a “live and let live” kinda gal, so the secondary message of ID is that we, within the BDSM community, should be accepting of others’ kinks, provided they’re practiced in a safe (or as safe as possible…let’s face it. Kink is dangerous!) and consensual setting.
Q: I love your section called, no stupid kink questions and I have to ask what is the stupidist question you’ve ever been asked about kink?
Thank you! The stupidest question…God, there have been a lot.
The one I get most often is, “Don’t you think you’re setting the Women’s Movement back a little?”
And the answer is no. I don’t.
From where I sit, the Women’s Movement is more about giving women the same rights as men, right down to allowing them to choose their own relationships and sexuality, and I still have those rights. I exercise them every day by choosing the relationship I’m in.
I’m allowed to take advantage of most of the other rights we’ve been given over the years, too. I’m even allowed to stand up for other women’s right to take advantage of them. My relationship dynamic and sexuality doesn’t affect anyone but me and my husband, so I think the Women’s Movement (such as it is in these united states, right now) will be just fine.
Q: If you could just give one piece of advice to someone who was thinking that kink might be the way for them to go, what would it be and more importantly why?
Research. Everything from D/s relationships to the various types of fetishes that already have names. Then research some more. And then some more. And then, once you know what kinds of people and fetishes you’ll run into on your journey, and you have an idea of what kinds of people and fetishes you’re looking for, maybe then you can make a decision.
And don’t forget that a large part of research is experimentation. If you’re not comfortable experimenting with anyone you know, pick up some pervertable tools from your local hardware store (or some cheap fetish gear online, though, personally, I’d suggest making that a last resort), and experiment on your own. There are dozens of sites out there that talk about self-bondage. Take advantage!
The why is easy. Kink can be dangerous, and vanilla folks don’t corner the market on psychopaths. You need to know what you want, what to expect, and how to protect yourself before getting involved in something that could ultimately cause your demise if you don’t know who you’re playing with.
Q: What would rank as your favorite sex toy of all time and why?
I dunno that I can pick just one. We have so many, and they all serve different purposes.
My favorite impact toy will always be the flogger M made. It’s not the most professional looking thing because it’s only the second flogger he’s made ever, but it feels SO good. Plus, there’s something to be said about being whipped with something your partner made for that purpose.
My favorite sex toys fluctuate based on what’s on the market and where I am mentally and emotionally. My pussy’s a finicky bitch and a toy I loved just yesterday can be completely uncomfortable for me to use today. But for today, my faves are my We-Vibe Touch and Tantus O2 Revolution. Used together or separately, it doesn’t matter.
The Touch has the absolute perfect vibrations for me, which is saying something. I’m not a huge vibrator fan. I like them sometimes, but most of the time, I prefer my fingers. Many vibes send me into oversensitivity before I’m able to finish my orgasm, but not the Touch.
As for the Revolution, that thing is just freakin perfect. It’s too big for some, but I like ’em big sometimes. It kinda feels like a real cock in your hand, all soft exterior, rigid interior. It fills me up so nicely, and there are days when I barely have to move it to explode with all the force of an A-bomb from a simultaneous g-spot and clitoral orgasm. It’s bliss.
Oh! And the Tantus Neo is my new favorite butt plug. Slides in and out easily because of the shape. Doesn’t chafe when you use it for extended wear like some other silicone plugs do. Leaves you feeling full but not overly so. It’s good stuff.
Q: If you had to sum your blog up in one word what would it be and why?
I have never really followed any blogging rules except the ones M lays on me. His rules are to keep the ads to a minimum, and don’t allow reviewing and memes to become the majority of the content I put out.
But, for example, people suggest sticking to positive stuff and keeping to a posting schedule, even down to picking days to post reviews and days to post specific content and a schedule for any series you’re working on. Yeah, screw that. Most weeks, I post at least 5 of 7 days, and I post what I want, when I want because forcing myself to fit some ideal of what a great blogger looks like is so not my thing. I’m just me. That’s all I can be.
I don’t make any attempt to be nice about what I have to say because I would rather gain readers without kissing ass and pretending to be something I’m not. I try to socialize, but I’m awkward on the best of days, and paranoid on the worst, so I tend to come off aloof and uninterested, which can be blog suicide, but my readers seem to understand. I air my dirty laundry without a moment’s hesitation because the dirty laundry is the majority of the reason I started Insatiable Desire in the first place. I write about my mental illness, the abuse I’ve suffered, my kinks, my relationship, my life. While I don’t write out every minute detail (seriously, I could be glued to my computer 24/7 and still not have time to do that), I do discuss the important stuff, and I don’t really give a shit what anyone thinks about it. Because, I mean, it’s my life. And life’s messy.
Special thanks to Rayne for taking the time out her busy and often kinky schedule to answer these questions. Now that you desires have been ignited may I suggest you go and visit InsatiableDesire.Com…